Old words for a new day I need to remember over and over again

I have been out of sorts these past few days.  I feel somewhat weakened but mostly I find myself far removed from things suddenly - as if having been on train station platform with friends then once boarded, find myself alone on that train you see in the distance of icy nothingness in Doctor Zhivago.  I was just somewhere else as people were talking, and even as I was talking and laughing along with them.  Even as these recent days have tried to swallow me up, the importance of those events that usually steal my attention have somewhat been lost on me. During these times of suspension comes a strange and heightened awareness that I always initially resent and fight against. Then all at once a wide open door appears for me to turn my attention elsewhere-see things that are too easily unseen.   These are the times I need to go to places that I fear, that I have forgotten and that I walk by ignorantly and carelessly each day.  These are the times I stop looking down at my own feet as I walk.  And I see free space rather than occupied space.  In fact I migrate toward it. Someone once handed me a large piece of white paper with a single black dot in the center and asked me what I saw.  My answer was the obvious - that tiny black dot.  Who sees all the that glorious free white space around the dot.  Not many.  In fact many of us live inside that black dot.  Lay crushed within it.
These days may seem lonely and sad now because I am out in this void.  Later,  weeks down the road, I begin to understand this place and its meaning.  That all this extra room is good. Then it just happens.  My new found space becomes a space for someone else.  A place to share and love with all the consequences of being human.

And I would rather feel human free floating in some sad infinity, than be a frozen soul imprisoned by an immovable happiness.